trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
