you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
