That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Randomize
