I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
