I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
