Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
so much tequila, so little girl.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
