highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
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