it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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