party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
you are never too drunk for berry picking
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
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