what if every blade of grass was a penis?
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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