so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
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