Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
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