Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
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