living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
