If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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