It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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