things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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