i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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