Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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