I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
