I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
