if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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