He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
