Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
