but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
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