No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
