Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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