can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Randomize
