ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
