these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
