I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
