i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
