How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
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