Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Sponge bath it is.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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