Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Randomize
