She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
