tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
