I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize