i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize
