You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
