he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
