I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
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