I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
