think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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