i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
