He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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