i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
