when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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