Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Sext me about skeletons
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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