I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
