You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
