if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
