You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
