hotel room ftw
So drunk its hurt
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
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