are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize