She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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