I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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