READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
