Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
