I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
