it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
