My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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