It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
