mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
