Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Randomize
