He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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