You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
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