She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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