If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
